The Beginning of Our Story...

It's honestly taken me months to decide to publish this post. I typed it out, saved it, deleted it...typed it again, read through it, and let it sit in my draft folder for a few more weeks. It isn't easy for me to write about but I feel like it needs to be said so that our family and friends can know what is really going on in our life. When Tim and I were married six years ago, almost immediately the questions started from family, coworkers and everyone else that came into our life of when we were going to start a family. Tim and I had agreed from the start we wanted kids but were comfortable with the idea of being married for five or so years before we started thinking of starting a family. We wanted time for ourselves to travel, feel financially stable, buy our first house...some things most couples don't often think of early in their marriages. At first, we didn't mind explaining our situation but there were times when people who would make it seem that our decision to wait was selfish. However, we knew what we wanted in our lives at the time and felt that it was no one else's decision but our own.

September of 2010, Tim and I felt that our time had come. We had accomplished almost everything on our "before kids" list. We vacationed a few times a year, built up our savings, bought a home of our own...everything fell into place in our little "plan". But it's funny how when you are younger, no one tells you about the hard parts in life. You grow up knowing that you will meet the love of your life, get married and have a family. You hear everyone's story of "we never had to 'try'" or "I never had to worry, I was always so fertile". No one teaches you that there might be a few bumps in the road along the way. Fast forward to six years later and here we are two years of trying for a family and coming up unsuccessful (for lack of better words).

After one year had passed and we still weren't pregnant, Tim and I started seeing a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) back in San Diego. Both of us have been through so many tests, medications, procedures yet still our doctor can't find exactly what the problem is. With each new test, Tim and I always come out as picture perfect, healthy young adults. I remember seeing my doctor in San Diego for the very first time and he asked why I was "so young" and worrying about infertility. He told me to give it a couple more months and come back to him. Today, almost two years later I feel that I have every reason to worry about it. At this point in our lives, I feel that we should have already had a child (if not, two) by now. Our doctors have diagnosed us with...get ready for it, "unexplained infertility". Yes, it's a real thing and it affects a lot more people than you may know.

As with everything, the military really has the worst timing. Right before we left San Diego, Tim and I had plans to move forward with our doctor and start new procedures. I finally felt that we were getting somewhere and had high hopes in the months to come. Two weeks later, Tim came home with our orders to Japan. We decided to put our hopes of starting a family on hold, yet again, for the military. We knew as soon as we got settled into a new routine in Japan we would hopefully be able to pick up where we left off with a new doctor. Researching before we arrived to Japan, we knew that the referral process for seeing a specialist out in town here would be a large hurdle to cross over. The hospital here on base isn't able to provide anything that we haven't already done so after a few long weeks of fighting with Tricare to see a doctor out in town we were finally given the green light.

Being seen by a Japanese doctor is an experience to say the least. We were fortunate to find one that speaks relatively good English so that we don't have to bring a translator from the hospital along with us. It's a bit of a walk and a few train rides away from home but worth all the time and money to us if we are able to get the outcome we are hoping for. We had our first appointment with Dr. Yanaihara-san today and were more than impressed! His entire staff were attentive, caring, asked a whole lot of questions and he even taught us some new things today. I think they knew that we felt a little out of our element in a new town, new doctor and not to mention the language barrier is always an issue but the staff went above and beyond our expectations to make us comfortable. We are looking forward to our next visits and what he has planned for us.

When you're not pregnant, it can feel like you really are the only one in the entire world who isn't. Pregnant women are everywhere when you don't want to see them. Especially here on base...they say it's in the water. I don't believe it for a second because I've drank tons of it :) You start seeing TV shows, advertisements, reading books everything has to do with babies. You can't get away from it. You also learn to that everyone has an opinion, whether you want it or not, as to why you might not be pregnant yet. All of sudden you are being given advice from some of your closest friends and family of things to do, certain days of the month, in certain ways...talk about awkward!

In the meantime, we've learned to grin and bear it when we are asked by random strangers why we don't have children yet. Once in awhile we are still asked by the same family and friends who over the years just haven't gotten a clue. I'm hoping that this will put it all out on the table and explain what we are going through a little better. I like to think that I've gotten better over time and no longer run and lock myself in a room to cry whenever the question was mentioned or someone else would announce their pregnancy. I've actually grown to love the looks on their faces when I tell them our story and set them straight...embarrassed to have even asked in the first place. Tim and I know that we will eventually be parents (and awesome ones at that) when the time does come for us. My Mom has always been a true believer in "everything happens for a reason"...I can't tell you the thousands of times I've heard that in my lifetime. I'd like to think that applies to our situation and that we're just waiting for it to be our turn. Until then, Tim and I find ways to stay optimistic and know that our time is coming, sooner than later we are hoping :)